SMTXtreme: Burgers In San Marcos
San Marcos is a city that embraces the extreme – we like our SUP boards big, our water clear and cold, and our football on unicycles. With that said, we decided to charge ourselves with the task of finding the city’s most extreme burgers. A task of herculean proportions, and portions… Without further ado, and in no particular order, we’d like to introduce some of our favorite SMTXtreme burgers in San Marcos.
Gordo’s Burger and Stuff is the stuff of burger legends. A late-night favorite, Gordo’s always hits the spot. We selected the Ultimate Gordo Burger, as one does when taking on a list of SMTXtreme burgers. A word to the wise, the Ultimate Gordo Burger comes in a two-patty version or a four-patty version – the four-patty version comes with avocado. Knowing we had a sizable to-do list to conquer after lunch and no time for a nap, we went for the two-patty version with fried pickles and French fries on the side to share. Two patties, two slices of cheese, bacon, onion, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, mustard, mayo, chili, mushrooms and jalapenos – the Ultimate Gordo Burger truly had it all. Every bite full of flavor, our favorite part of the Gordo’s experience was the way the hamburger meat, perfectly cooked and handcrafted, crumbled in your mouth with every bite.
The Great Pyramid of Giza, the Mona Lisa, the Border-War Burger – too beautiful to accurately describe in words, but we will try our best. When you order the Border-War Burger at Showdown, nobody warns you that your life is about to be changed, so heed our warning. It is a truly majestic and life changing meal and you will never look at a cheeseburger the same way. Who looks at a cheeseburger and thinks, “what if I replace the buns with bacon and cheese quesadillas?” The geniuses at Showdown, that’s who! The half-pound of beef, smothered in diced jalapenos, tomatoes and red onions, topped with cheese, mustard, mayo and pickles comes nestled inside two bacon and cheese quesadillas (pause here to give that idea the consideration it deserves) and served with hash-browns. Yes, hash-browns! We decided to take it an extra step and get our hash-browns served with red onions, jalapenos, tomatoes, mushrooms and melted cheese because we don’t back down from a challenge, we embrace it. We could go on about how perfectly grilled the quesadilla “buns” were, or how the bacon gave it a smoky flavor. We could elaborate on how the cheese soaked into every nook and cranny and the jalapenos left you with a lingering memory of the deliciousness you just consumed. But we think you should just try it for yourself.
We tried to limit ourselves to one SMTXtreme burger per establishment, but when asked what we wanted to order at Railyard Bar and Grill, we simply couldn’t help ourselves. How could we choose between the Frito Pie Burger, 1/3 pounds of grilled beef with chili, queso, Fritos, lettuce, tomatoes and chipotle mayo, or The De-Railer, ½ pounds of grilled beef topped with queso, melted jack cheese, fried jalapenos, lettuce, tomatoes and chipotle mayo? We didn’t, we got both. Both burgers were delicious in their own right. Crunchy Fritos, flavor-filled chili, spicy fried jalapenos, queso and chipotle mayo – we were in taste bud nirvana! An added bonus to our burger bonanza was getting to enjoy them on the Railyard Bar and Grill patio. With several fun yard games set up, it is the perfect place to bring your family or competitive friends and enjoy an afternoon of good fun and great eats.
Taproom Pub and Grub is known for their wide selection of beers on tap and award winning specialty burgers. We went in with our minds set on trying the Hell Burger, but found ourselves drooling on our menu when we saw that you can get a burger topped with mac & cheese – sold! We ordered both and put them to the taste test. Where the grilled jalapenos, pepper jack cheese and legendary hot wing sauce brings the heat for the Hell Burger, the Mac & Cheese Burger was a soft, pillowy sandwich of cheesy, carbohydrate goodness. An angel and devil situation if ever we saw, complete with an internal Hallelujah chorus with every bite. The perfect ending to the meal was using our French fries, which are magnificent, to sop up the flavorful sauces left behind.
We should have known what we were in for when the man taking our order looked at us like we were crazy when we said, “yeah, we’ll just split it.” But we didn’t, we didn’t even see it coming. Then our order was up and we spent a few moments just taking it all in. We had seen photos, but we didn’t believe it. Two pounds of beef! So gargantuan you need a battle plan for taking your first bite. We tried a couple of ways, but we found a continual smooshing strategy worked best. Two people against four half-pound patties? This was a fight we weren’t going to walk away from easily. Casualties included a white shirt that didn’t stand a chance, the buttons on both our pants and any hope of feeling comfortable at all for the remainder of the day. Will we be brave enough to face this formidable opponent again? Of course, but next time we will bring our stretchy pants.
What’s your favorite SMTXtreme burger? Are there any you think we should try next time? Let us know in the comments!